Tonight is the first night of the L.E.A.H. Convention. L.E.A.H. = Loving Education At Home and it is New York State’s Christian Homeschool support group. Fortunately for our family, the annual convention was moved to the Rochester area last year, after many (?) years at the NYS Fairgrounds. We went to that location once… in the rain… with a new-ish Angel. It stunk. So I, for one, am glad it has come to a drier/indoor AND closer location.
But here is the kicker…
I don’t really know why I go.
What I discovered that first year was that I don’t really enjoy listening to speakers. Unless someone is an outstanding, charismatic speaker, I don’t sit still well. I knew this from years in medical conferences. But since most of those were necessary for my degree or for CEUs I just learned techniques for getting through them. Doodling, making grocery lists, thinking up baby names for future children, or seeing if I could name all 50 states. If it was a really long conference, I’d work on the state capitals. But I never got very far with those.
These days I could name the 50 state rather easily, and I bet I could do the state capitals, as well. But the idea of driving downtown to do that seems preposterous. And while the speakers seem like REALLY, REALLY nice people, I don’t feel like what might have to say will really speak to what I need to improve my homeschool. I am much better reading text than sitting for a speaker.
Many people go to the conferences for encouragement and support. I am so glad that the convention offers that for them. I wonder if I don’t feel like I need that type support because I belong to such a fantastic L.E.A.H. chapter and I have a number of women who I lean on and lift up in turns.
Aside from my lack of interest in speakers there is the very real trouble of overstimulation and the nagging feeling that I am not a good enough homeschooler. See – you need to picture this ENORMOUS hall FILLED with vendors. And very, very few of the vendors, if any, sell junk. No – the room is filled with all kinds of great curriculum and projects and videos and crafts and manipulatives and if I had 25 kids and homeschooled until I was 99 I would never need to use all of it. Last year I wandered into this hall after our L.E.A.H. Chapter Leaders dinner. It was at the end of a long day, after five long and busy weeks. I was tired and all I saw was all the things I WASN’T doing for or with my kids. Thankfully, as the feelings of worthlessness and self-doubt crept in, I recognized them as nonsense and I asked JB if we could go home. I went home and returned the next morning after good sleep and good prayer. I was equipped to make selections we really needed and continued to pray that God would turn me away from what was not in His plan for my family.
So back to the question: Why do I go? Well, for one, as much as I try to prune off this particular sin in my life, I operate under a lot of guilt. And that guilt goes a long way on this subject. First, I wonder if some day I *might* need what the convention has to offer. I want to do what I can to support its continuity. I particularly want to encourage it staying in Rochester. Secondly, I know it serves others and I want to contribute to it financially so that others who might benefit from it’s existence NOW won’t see prices elevate to make up for low census.
The other reason I go, is that while I do know most of what I want, it all needs to be ordered. And S&H costs add up. I figured out last year the S&H costs on my Math-U-See and Rod and Staff English alone almost covered the admission fee. The dollar or two difference made me feel better about visiting this vast marketplace, which was good, because I don’t much care for internet shopping. I enjoy flipping through books completely, as opposed to making decisions based on the 5 or 6 pages a company MIGHT have available to look at online.
So why am I writing all this? Now?
Because I don’t want to iron. I have some lovely white pants I want to wear tonight to dinner [and probably again tomorrow to serve as a greeter (oh yeah – that is more guilt!)] and they are wrinkly and I hate ironing.
Can you tell the boys loved it?
I can’t believe I had never been there before. 
Dayspring Disciples 