Meet Ducky…

February 25, 2013 | Stacy

Katriel Summer made her debut in a ROUGH delivery I will blog about soon.
It. was. hard. Vicious. Messy.
But she is worth it.
And God was there…

Later and later…

February 24, 2013 | Stacy

In a few hours Ducky will be 5 days late. He or she will hold the new record in our house. I’ve already explained that his or her pregnancy was one for our memory banks and this last accomplishment need not be pursued, but still s/he stays tucked in.

Every guess entered on the ExpectNet Baby Pool has passed. Heh – MY guess passed 5 weeks ago! The winner here is Ducky. Growing strong and well, we hope.

I’ve been reminded by those who love me that God has a plan.

I am praying hard that I won’t be “bullied” into an induction. I put that in quotes because my doctor has always shown himself to be overwhelmingly understanding of my preferences and convictions. Still, I am working on standing up to any suggestions he has early this week to induce me. Should it become medially necessary I will not be stubborn, of course. But I prefer to let nature take its course.

The kids are as antsy as John and I. This waiting is trying on them, too. There are lessons to be learned as we are all refined. And I keep reminding them, and myself, that once the baby is actually here, it will not matter one iota when it arrived.

But we all hope Ducky comes tomorrow. 🙂

I’m still rooting for a 9-lb baby. I think it is a boy. I’d be happy to be wrong, though. Either is welcome.

What’s in a name?

February 22, 2013 | Stacy

For months I’d thought about writing this blog entry, but I just never made the time. Seeing as how Ducky is biding his or her time to arrive and I have a few minutes, I may as well record our ~~weirdness~~ preferences in naming our children.

We have rules. I think most families do to some extent. Even if someone claims they “have no rules,” that is a rule, right?

Some of ours may make more sense than others to the reader… but they all make PERFECT sense to us. 😉

Rule #1) Since our last name begins with a /B/ sound, the end sound of the first name shall not end with a /B/ sound. (ie. Caleb Baxter. It would sound like Cale Baxter or Caleb Axter.)

Rule #2) Since our last name begins with a /B/ sound, the end sound of the most common nickname shall not end with a /B/ sound. (ie. Abraham = Abe, or Gabriel = Gabe. See rule 1. Say them outloud.)

Rule #3) Since our children’s middle names begin with S (except for the child whose first name begins with an S) the first name shall not end in an /S/ sound. (ie. Pierce Samuel, or Rhys Silas, etc. See rule 1.)

Rule #4) Since our last name ends with an /–er/ sound, the first name shall not have an –er, –ir, –ur, etc. (ie. No Esther, Arthur, Spencer, Oliver.)

Rule #5) We will not repeat any letters of the alphabet for our children’s first initial. We already have J, M, N, S, & T. There are still 21 other letters before we repeat. 😉

Rule #6) The name will preferably NOT be in the top 500 names according to the Social Security Administration website for the three most recent years. (We’ve made concessions a time or two for this, however, have universally avoided any names trending toward more popular usage levels.) http://www.ssa.gov/OACT/babynames/

Rule #7) Despite rule #6, we will not invent any name or use a name that can’t be found in average baby books.

Rule #8) The name has to have a meaning that appeals to us, or it has to have a personal meaning to us. “Lives by a cliff,” or “Tends farm animals,” isn’t going to cut it along side of, “Named after my grandfather,” “Champion,” “Named after Jesus’ mother,” “Resurrected by St. Peter,” and “God is gracious.”

Rule #9) Middle names are fun. Do not worry about what the world thinks about the middle name!

NEWER RULE

Rule #10) As we prayed about a name for Ducky, we also added this rule for a girl. If it is a girl it can not end in another /-uh/ sound, as the last two girls names do and it is getting repetitive to our ears.

And finally – above all else –

THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE – Pray about the name. God has given us the name for each of the other children either in the form of confirmation, or breathing the entire thing to us in spite of our initial dislike or shock. These are His children and we desire to ask Him what He would have us call the child. Amazingly… God has followed all of the above rules as He has directed us. 😉

(Bet you really want to know Ducky’s name now, huh?) 😉

Yeah – um, SO DO I!!!!!!!

I’ll give you a hint… the middle names starts with an S. 😉

40 Weeks + 1 day

February 20, 2013 | Stacy

It’s been 12 years since I had the privilege of being “overdue” for anything but library books. That’s not to say I’ve always been on time for things. Since about child number three, I can occasionally run late for appointments. And we’ve come into church just as the worship leader has greeted the congregation more times than I care to admit. But late with babies?… I haven’t done that since 2000.

So my history, coupled with the red flags the doctors had been throwing out since mid-pregnancy, led us to believe we wouldn’t be post-due this time around, either.

But we are.

And I don’t feel the least bit “ready.” I’ve had none of my usual signs that the baby is on its way.

So yes, I’m still here. Waiting. I feel like the last two years have been a continuous lesson on God’s timing. This fits. Exquisitely.

I’m still betting on a 9lb., blue-eyed, baby boy. However, at this rate I may change that to 10lbs…

Dear Ducky,

February 15, 2013 | Stacy

We are delighted that you did not come 10 weeks ago, when things were at their scariest. We are grateful you did not come 8 weeks ago, when your fluid-filled home abruptly changed. We are so glad you did not come 6 weeks ago, when you approached a milestone, but were still very small. We are also glad you did not come 4 weeks ago, or even two weeks ago, and especially not during the big snow storm on February 8th.

We are so pleased that you have found comfort and protection in the womb God planned for you for as long as you have. We have thanked our loving Father again and again for His miracle.

Dearest Ducky. It is time to come. We know how snuggly you are and how you probably hear us talking about how cold and yucky it is outside. We don’t blame you for wanting to stay put. But it is time to meet your family. Please listen to Mommy and make haste.

Your family is getting SO eager to meet you! We wonder if you are a boy or a girl. Will your arrival even up the pack again, or skew it forever in favor of girls? Will you have brown eyes or blue? Will you create a balance between the two colors or make it so the brown-eyed Butlers outnumber the blue-eyed ones forevermore? Or will you surprise us with a completely different color? What is your name? Will you still have tons of hair like you did in your 33 week ultrasound, or will you have lost it all by now? As yet, only God knows these answers… we’re counting down the minutes until we get to know, too.

So, come on little one. Your room is all ready. Our bags are all packed. We are all longing to meet you.

Love,
Your Mama

P.S – Mama is going on record as guessing a 9lb, blue-eyed, baby boy. But I am okay if I am 100% wrong.

38 weeks!

February 6, 2013 | Stacy

95% of the way to our new baby I just have to stop and say, “WOW!”
This pregnancy has been a real ride. I am exceedingly grateful that we made it past the 34 week mark, through the 36 week mark, and now can consider ourselves, “Fully cooked!”

I love that when the surprised doctors, nurses, and technicians comment on how amazing it is that we did NOT end up with the preemie we were anticipating I can share about the people who have been faithfully lifting us up in prayer these last few months. I’m honored at to be the recipient of the healing the LORD has offered us.

That’s not to say I’m in any hurry to sign up for this kind of ride again…

When it comes to medical intervention, I’ve always been a less-is-more type person. This pregnancy has found me utilizing the health care system with ravenous consumption. There was a week in late November (way BEFORE bedrest) that I saw four providers for four different issues. Within.A.Week.

If you are the least bit squeamish or repulsed by medical ailments please tune in another time… at this point I am recording my pregnancy-related medical concerns for posterity.

Acupuncture – let’s not forget how this wonderful pregnancy was even achieved! After back-to-back miscarriages in 2011/2012 I sought the assistance of Traditional Chinese Medicine at CNY Rochester. I was overwhelmingly pleased with the care I received there and would highly recommend the acupuncture and TCM to anyone. I saw Heather through about the first 10 weeks of the pregnancy, but then stopped going because it was so hard to fit it in with our summer activities.
Perinatologist – I began seeing the perinatologist in July because of the previous two miscarriages. I will never, ever, ever forget, as long as I live, the JOY I felt seeing TWO beautiful heartbeats on the monitor on July 2, 2012. While most of the day was spent celebrating Nigel’s 10th birthday I will never forget the feeling of “specialness” I had that day as I just reveled in God’s generosity.
Of course – we continued with frequent, FREQUENT, visits to our wonderful perinatologist throughout the pregnancy. Not all the of the visit were joy-producing. Frankly, the overwhelming majority of them were concerning or heartbreaking. But, I am so glad God saw fit to have my path cross with that particular office.
OB/GYN – yeah – most pregnancies require one of these, or a midwife. I have a really great one. And I saw him regularly.
Chiropractor – okay – this is a little less obvious. November 2011 I damaged my tailbone. Remember this post? Then in February 2012 I fell down the stairs. While it started to heal in the summer of 2012, it got decidedly worse in the fall. The pregnancy hormone, relaxin, kept my tailbone sort of mushy and regular bi-weekly visits to the chiropractor kept me somewhat sane. I only wish I had started to go earlier. It has been significantly better since I stopped driving around so much, but it likely will not be completely healed until after Ducky gets here and I have a few post-partum visits.
Optometrists – multiple ones. Back in October I used up my last pair of soft contact lenses. I went to Walmart, where I have been going for the last few years. There was a new doctor there; the person I liked had moved elsewhere. My eyesight traditionally changes minimally from year to year. The last year or so it maintained at –3.25. After seeing this new doctor he changed me to –4.50. This new change was tremendous. The contacts really bothered me. I wore them two weeks and went back to talk to him about it. He insisted they were fine and when I told him I could no longer read books he had me buy some $5 “cheater” glasses. I tried. I really did. This did not work. I was getting frustrated. I mentioned this to a co-worker and she suggested I go see her father-in-law at Pearle Vision. I did. He rocked. He also detected that what I was on that day (almost a month later) was now –5.25! Are you kidding me????? HOWEVER, he felt it was pregnancy related and, gee, by the way, had my doctor talked to me at all about gestation diabetes?…
Did I mention my OB/GYN? Did I mention the polyhydramnios? Yes. I have. See – polyhydramnios is often correlated with gestation diabetes. The drastic vision changes concerned ALL my providers and just before Thanksgiving I got my very own glucometer and a crash review in diabetic education. A month’s worth of checking my sugar two hours after meals strongly suggested I am not diabetic.

Are you laughing, yet?
Dermatologist – Yes – even one of THESE! When I was post-partum for Marie in 2004 the nail bed on my left thumb started to split. When I was pregnant for Tabitha in 2006 it happened again. In both cases I need to see a dermatologist to inject an exceptionally painful amount and type of steroid UNDER the left thumb nail. Johanna spared me the experience, but imagine my horror when it began again in November. It took 4 weeks to get in. (It still is not healed.)
Urgent Care – Early November brought a quick and POWERFUL upper respiratory infection that knocked me for a loop. My rapidly growing, fluid-filled belly was making breathing that much more difficult and I woke one Sunday morning unable to swallow food. Urgent care to the rescue.
Non-Stress Tests – Late November I started with weekly Non-Stress Tests at Unity Perinatal. 24 miles from home.
Ultrasounds – Late September I started with monthly, then bi-weekly ultrasounds

Other FUN pieces
My right great toe is deep, dark purple. This might be because I had my right saphenous vein ablated in 2009, or just because of the compression stockings. It hurts to walk. Every step hurts. No, you probably have not heard me complain about it. But my kids have. I still have mobility and sensation, so I ‘m not THAT worried. My children are HORRIFIED.
Compression stockings.
Pitting edema
Petechiae – painless, most likely temporary (except a few spots always stay). Horrifies the children.

Unless your name is John, Nan, Emily, Jenn, Linda, or Tara… you probably aren’t even aware of most of what is on this list! And I hope that I have spared at least a few of those good people the “whole story.” I do consider it a tremendous privilege to be having Ducky and I long not to complain. I also don’t want the kids to have this ~~ugly~~ vividly strange image of pregnancy. But at times, the family bedtime prayers have sounded a bit like this:

“And Dear Jesus. Please bless Ducky and help Ducky not to die and help the fluid in Mom’s belly to get normal. And help her toe to go back to not being purple, and help her nail to get all better. And please help her tailbone to stop hurting and help her not to have diabetes so she can still make cakes.”

We usually end up guffawing as we pray for Mom. And I am okay with that.

A friend of mine points out regularly that pregnancy is not for the faint of heart! It is not.

And can you believe – even with ALL OF THAT – we still did not meet our medical deductible for last year until the LAST WEEK OF DECEMBER?

These are some pictures from over the weekend. My belly is about as big now as it was mid-December before the abrupt decrease in fluid. But I only have +/- 2 weeks left. And we are getting excited.
And because I love all of you, I am NOT sharing the pictures of my fluid-filled feet or my scraggly old thumb nail.

Ducky update!

January 17, 2013 | Stacy

Ducky is looking very, very good, according to our perinatologist. I continue with weekly non-stress tests (NSTs) and had another ultrasound (u/s) yesterday. This week’s u/s showed that the fluid remains in the normal range. This is such a praise! Having dropped so dramatically on 12/27 we did have real concerns it might continue to drop from high, THROUGH good, and into a dangerously low zone…

But it didn’t.

It’s been a crazy month, really. I feel SO MUCH BETTER these days. SO MUCH. I continue to follow the doctor’s instructions for activity restriction and I must say being mostly housebound is not a lot of fun. But it seems to have worked very well and I am grateful for the improvements we’ve seen.

A month ago I felt downright toxic. The most I can liken it to is when I had the flu in March 2008, or H1N1 in November 2009. I felt like I had a fever. I had all tremendous malaise and generalized achiness. The incessant contractions depleted me of so much energy. I seriously felt poor enough to accept meals from friends (thanks Emily, Tara, Deb & master-chef Jenn) and let Emily clean my bathrooms! (You have to know I felt sick to allow THAT kind of humility.) I constantly felt like I needed to nap. It was just unpleasant. As a matter-of-fact on 12/21 I sat on the floor in my bedroom with John for about 70 minutes to help him organize and wrap the small amount of gifts we had. That little expenditure of energy coupled with my sheer size pressing on my bones was enough to render me wasted and sore for 12/22. It was a bad way to feel.

And today? I feel so much better. I can breathe. I can move around more easily. I don’t feel like I need to sleep all day long. I still pretty much sit around all day. I’m not going to mess with what is working. But I feel downright well.

I shared with a friend via email this week, though, that I am just so blessed to be on the receiving end of what our family believes is a miracle. For 16 weeks we watched and waited and prepared for a preemie. As my belly stretched 7 weeks ahead of schedule we just continued to PRAY and we know so many who were praying for us, as well. And then good things started to take shape. We are now just a few days away from being considered full-term. Both doctors now suggest I could easily make it to my due date.

It has been a VERY hard 16 months with praying for people who were go through so many losses and hurting. And the kids have just prayed so faithfully. I have been so blessed by how much they committed to praying steadfastly. AND – we LOVED when people were able to share how they saw God in their trials, etc. Well, to be on THIS side of it – I have to say if it is a witness to one of my kids that they hold onto then I say it is all worth it.

The pictures aren’t as cute this late on as they were 10 weeks ago. Tabitha, in fact, thinks Ducky looks grumpy.
We’ll find out soon enough.
Thank you for praying!!!!

Maternity catch-up

January 3, 2013 | Stacy

You’d think someone on bed rest would have more time to blog…. huh?

Here is some catch-up. After our busy and fun weekend 12/9 and 12/10 I spent all day 12/11 and 12/12 on the couch. I was struggling with relentless contractions and a fatigue I’d never experienced before in pregnancy! I likened the malaise to when I had H1N1 in 2009. We did basic school as Marie did the out-loud readings for Tabitha and her work. The kids pitched in wholeheartedly as I languished. Am I being dramatic? Um, nope. It was really bad.

I had my first scheduled NST on 12/13 and we saw 3 contractions in the 20 minutes. The perinatologist raised his eyebrows but conceded it was likely an irritable uterus given the fact that it measured close to 37 weeks… and I was only 30 weeks along. I went from there to the OB for my scheduled appointment. I was fully prepared to hear him say I needed to slow down. BUT – see – I felt like I needed him to TELL me to slow down. Otherwise, I know I would have pushed and pushed myself to make sure my kids got to do all the cool things we had planned to do in the Christmas season. Well – he most certainly DID instruct me to slow down. As in – no work, no Christmas shopping, no excessive hospitality. Chill. Out.

That is harder than it sounds.

The next week was spent recovering. I humbly accepted the delicious meals and pizza gift cards from friends, and even held my friend’s baby as she cleaned my bathrooms. Humility. 😛

My NST on 12/19 showed only 2 contractions in 20 minutes.

We got through school. We got through the broken hot water heater. We missed a lot of fun activities – dropped a caroling night, dropped having friends for dinner, dropped a festive evening out. We did get to have one set of friends for dinner on 12/22… mostly because she brought the food.

Then John got 11 days off from work for the winter shut down. The timing was excellent and much needed for us to put our house back together.

Then something incredible happened. On December 26th as I was dressing it suddenly became clear to me that I was smaller. I was climbing out of bed easier. It was easier getting dressed. I was breathing easier. I was smaller. This seriously concerned me. It was the rapid reduction of fluid that made it so Nigel was delivered emergently at 32w3d!

I was scheduled for another NST on 12/27. And I was scheduled to see the NP in my OBs office. Now, I was a little concerned because I wasn’t seeing Dr. Grace (the perinatologist) in his office for the NST; I was to have it in The Birthing Center due to scheduling issues. I was also not seeing my doctor, who knows me well, as he was on vacation. Thoughts bounced through my head: “Should I call Dr. Grace’s office in the AM and share what I think?” “Should I call Peg (the nurse practitioner) in the morning and share my concerns?” “Should I ask the nurse in the Birthing Center to call Dr. Grace?” “Should I stop by Dr. Grace’s office and ask to see him?” But I kept dismissing them and concluded, GOD CAN HANDLE THIS. God cares for me. He doesn’t just look out for those of us who know how to navigate medical offices, etc. He has this covered. So I just worked to not worry and NOT fear.

I left here at noon and headed to Park Ridge. On the way there I started to wonder again if I needed to do or say something. But I just prayed. I remembered the Truth – that God loves Ducky even more than I do. That He knows how many hair are on my head. That not a sparrow falls! I just asked Him to please show up big for me. Please just to show me quickly He was THERE and HE has this all.

So – as this was the first time I’d been in the Birthing Center this pregnancy, I had papers to fill out before my NST. The unit secretary pointed me to a weird little hallway with a few seats and lots of walls and corners. A couple was sitting around the corner from me. A Dr. X came and was talking to them about some procedure and asked them about whether or not she’d had an ultrasound (u/s) yet or seen Dr. Grace yet. She hadn’t yet so they talked and Dr. X called Dr. Grace on this unit “phone” system they all carry. I hear Dr. X say to the couple that Dr. Grace is coming right over. Then after a few minutes I hear Dr. Grace’s voice. I did not see which way he came in from. Dr. X wasn’t done talking to the couple yet so Dr. Grace just said, “Well, when you’re done talking send them over and I’ll do u/s before you start.”

Then he walks away from them in my direction. He sees me and stops to say, “Hi.” He also re-congratulated me on my blood work from last week. In my head I was astonished. I felt tongue-tied. I’m sure I looked like I wanted to say something OR God was holding his feet, because he was just hesitating in front of me. I found my voice and I told him there was no doubt in my mind my belly had shrunk. I told him I was to see Peg at 2:15 and that she would measure me to confirm it. And as I prepared to remind him about Nigel’s history he quickly said he remembered and recounted some of the story. He concluded with saying if Peg or I had ANY concern to just come back down and he’d do an u/s.

I didn’t have to call him. Or stalk him. Or plead with Peg.

God sent the doctor to me. I was just amazed as I sat there. God.Sent.The.Doctor.To.Me.

God has this!

Okay – I’ll speed up to say, I went to my appt. with Peg. I lost two pounds (over Christmas and while on bed rest no less!…) and my belly was almost the same size as it was 4 weeks ago. The belly, my assessment, and the weight loss led Peg to quickly agree an U/S was a good idea. She called Dr. Grace’s office personally and arranged for me to go down there. I had to wait until 4PM, but I was more than fine with that. It was better than going home and heading back in on Friday.

I spent the next 90 minutes waiting, but not worrying. I still had no idea how things were going to turn out. I still had visions of Nigel coming at 32w3d, but I just knew, GOD HAS THIS COVERED. Nothing surprises Him. It might not be happily-ever-after but GOD HAS THIS COVERED.

Finally Dr. Grace came and got me a few minutes after 4PM. The baby looks great. The fluid had dropped by half. I had HALF as much fluid as I did three weeks before!! HALF! But I was still at the upper limit of normal. Ducky was active, had a great heart beat, and offered the doctor no concerns. Where the fluid went is anyone’s guess. They simply can’t explain it. He did feel there was plenty of fluid for the time being and as long as our checks on Ducky are fine he won’t ever say the baby had to be delivered JUST because of a fluid level.

Then this past week, on 1/2, I went in for another NST – no contractions this time! – and for another U/S. My fluid level was a little lower, but Ducky still looked really, really good. Big… but good.

This week on 1/9 I will have another NST and see Dr. Tripp again. We still don’t know how this will end. It’s not over til it’s over. And as any parent knows… it’s never over. 😉

But that is what we’ve been up to.

Homeschooling on ~~house arrest~~ bed rest/modified activity isn’t as bad as it sounds. Housework is probably what is lacking the most around here. The kids do a magnificent job with their chores and over all I am happy to say I have seen really good fruit most of the time. John’s burden is a lot heavier, however. As there are some tasks we just have to leave for him.

Quack

December 5, 2012 | Stacy

Today’s u/s was not ideal. The single deepest pocket of fluid JUMPED to 14. (It has been 8, then 11, and again 11.) I was NOT expecting this, although I shouldn’t be surprised considering how enormous I am.
I am discouraged. Trying not to be. But I am at this moment.
Baby also weighs in at 3lb 10oz. Pretty big for this point.
Nigel measured big and, in fact, was 5lb 15oz at only 32 weeks. The similarities are a bit concerning, however, as Nigel ended up coming so early.

I didn’t even get a consolation prize of a nice new u/s picture to bring home. Sweet Ducky is head’s down (which is GREAT) except s/he had her/his face turned backward and we couldn’t get any pictures.