Even odder that this post doesn’t have pictures of happenings in our house.
But I need to get this off my chest and my own blog is as good a place as any.
I don’t understand our culture’s attitude toward children.
They are awesome. They are amazing. They ARE a blessing.
When I was a new nurse, in my first full-time job, I worked with a lot of mothers. I learned a lot from these women, professionally and personally. One thing I took note of and started to buy into was the idea that kids were nice and all, but also a bit of a pain. It was very common for me to hear comments about how they couldn’t wait for school to start, or how they could not wait for vacation to be over. Some even joked that they worked to get away from them. One woman even took her children to child care on the days she WASN’T working for her “mental health.”
Then another woman started to work on the floor. She had actually been an employee years before and was coming back to work per diem. Cathy didn’t speak about her two sons that way. She loved her sons. She spoke highly of them. She looked forward to their company. What was more, she and her husband were working to adopt a third child. This was such a different attitude for me to see and one that sunk in. Furthermore, this woman was starting to homeschool her older son. Homeschool? What is that??? I knew years later that God was setting down some seeds in MY life. [Today Cathy is one of my dearest soul sisters, and the mother to 7.]
Just a few years later, JB and I started our own family, and God really began working in our lives. Or frankly, we allowed ourselves to be part of what God was preparing to do in our lives. Our first son rocked our foundations in such a huge, and wonderful way. The magnitude of what we were doing — raising kids — was not lost on us. It has been a wonderful journey that finds us now preparing for our fifth arrow.
Which brings me to my concern… why are children the ENEMY? Why is there this prevailing attitude that they are a burden? Oh sure, people will acknowledge how much they love their children, but why do they behave as if these beautiful, young souls are keeping them from more fun, or better things?
Here is a question I always want to ask these parents, but don’t in the name of politeness —
If your children are so unpleasant that their own mother and father need a break from them… why do you think other people want to be around them? Seriously. If the people who would presumably lay down their life for their kids need to be separated from them to “regroup,” or “refresh,” or “hear myself think,” etc., what is the rest of the world supposed to do with these youngsters?
I contend that something must be going on, or frankly, NOT going on, in their discipline style. Why is distance from their children the answer?
If the attitude is disrespectful, address it.
If the bickering is continuing, put a stop to it.
My children are not perfect. Good grief no. They are sinners, just like I am. They need discipline and instruction. Not just so that our home life is pleasant, but so that they will, hopefully, grow up to be men of valor and ladies of virtue. So that they will be bold and strong servants of the King. So that they will be a witness in the world. And to borrow a phrase from my pastor, so that they will be against the world, for the world.
When things get “hot” in my house, this isn’t time for Mommy to grab a latte or take a night out on the town. It is time to figure out how to revive order. There is nothing wrong with doing those things because you are looking forward to catching up with a friend. But when it is an escape from home… we need to ask ourselves what is wrong with our HOMES?
What saddens me the most, is when Christian women partake in this children-bashing. Amongst Christian women, there is a real sense of principle to not bad talk, or bash husbands. We all seem to respect and honor our husbands and do not take the low road and speak ill of the men we have committed ourselves to. But yet these same women speak disdainfully of their children. They perpetuate the culture’s attitude rather than promote the alternative.
My kids are works in progress, JUST AS I AM.
God hasn’t bailed on me. He doesn’t take a break from me to “regroup,” “refresh,” or “hear Himself think.” He never takes a “mental health day.” Why should I?
Philippians 1:6 And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.
Dayspring Disciples 