These disciples are busy!  We have lots to do and read.  We are on the go and hope to enjoy much of what this season has to offer.  And… I am still sad.
The sadness is odd.  It is not all encompassing.  It doesn’t direct my days.  It doesn’t linger or paralyze.
It is more of a surprise.  It comes at strange times and in unusual places.
On Black Friday Nigel, Tabitha, and I were at Kmart.  While they were both in the cart [yes, they were!] I was tooling around just exploring.
We passed by a little basket lined with white fabric and embroidered with little airplanes.  I’ve never purchased or longed for anything like it.  I instantly thought, “That would be sweet in a boy’s nursery.”  That thought was immediately replaced with, “I might have had a son!”
The tears swelled in my eyes and my breathing became ragged.  My legs wavered some as a wave of grief passed through.
My coat cuff wiped away the tears.  A few deep breaths restored my breathing.  The cart steadied my legs.  We made a left turn at steam cleaners and by the time we got to shoes I let myself be carried by the One I trust.  Yoked with our great Redeemer every burden is lighter.  He is faithful and true.  He will never leave me or forsake me.  His timing is perfect. 
And His ways are not our ways.
And I am still sad.