October 30, 2012 – Dayspring Disciples

And how 100% is no longer our goal…

Normally, I am all about making it to my due date. When Marie was 4 days early I was considerably disappointed. Perhaps that was because of Nigel’s VERY early arrival. But more likely, it is because of my type-A personality.

But these days… my goal is 85% (a/k/a 34 weeks), although I’d love 90% or better!

Last Thursday I had my follow-up ultrasound and meeting with the perinatologist . And I don’t know if it was just a case of me hearing what I wanted to hear or what, but I left there not terribly concerned at all. Maybe it was denial. But Friday morning I got to meet with my OB and we talked a lot more about where we were.

The fluid in my womb is just as much as when I had Nigel in 2002. Our polyhydramnios did not go away. What is different about 2002 and now is in 2002 the baby’s kidneys were of concern and his legs measured two different lengths. That made three things of concern and three is a magic number where they start considering syndromes, etc., etc. Ducky looks fabulous and is offering no concerns which is, of course, wonderful. We still get to avoid extra testing and the stresses that accompany them.

HOWEVER… Nigel wasn’t born at 32 weeks because of faulty kidneys (they are fine) or because of uneven legs (if they’re uneven we can’t tell) but because of the fluid trouble. And that is what we have here again. 😦

So – in the nutshell, our prayer request is, are you ready for this? It is very deep and profound… our prayer request is that if it is God’s will, our baby will not die. Yup. I think that sums it up. It is certainly what the kids keep praying.

Once Nigel was born and in the NICU it was the universal belief of every involved provider that had I not had the U/S the day that I had it he would likely not have been alive even a day or two later. This opinion was not once refuted that I heard of. John and I believe completely that God’s hand and His timing were 100% responsible for that little boy (who teases his sisters, puts too much jam on his sandwiches and learns past participles) being here today.

We are praying again that His timing reigns.

We are not scared and that is a huge blessing. Huge. He and I were both scared to the point of tears in 2002. We have seen God *show up* so many, many, many times for our family in the past decade. We know what He can do. So we aren’t scared. But it isn’t fun to be walking this road again. Of all the things in our lives we would love to repeat, this would not have been one of them. But we are counting on our faithful Father.

So as much as I’d love to make it to 40 weeks, I’ve truncated my goal and am praying we make it to at least the 34 week mark. With Nigel, at 32 weeks we discovered the fluid was GONE. Likely used up and my body stopped making more. He had to come when he did. We are prayerful God will allow my body to sustain this little one longer this time. We strongly desire skipping the NICU and the other things that went along with that trial. And while we are at it, I’m praying boldly that I will be able to avoid a Caesarean delivery.

But mostly, I’m just praying our baby doesn’t die.