One of the things I often say as I am relating a story about what happened with the kids or I is, “You couldn’t write this stuff.”  Seriously.  As Dave Barry always said, “’I’m not making this up.”

Angel and I went to Kmart so that I could make a return and look around for some summer tops for myself.  When we got there, there was no line at the Customer Service Counter.  There was also no employee.  We waited.  And waited.  And waited.  I saw that some clerks saw me.  A number of them were working on the instant lottery machine and pointed toward us. We continued to wait.  Then a young man approached us from the store side and asked what we needed.  He was very apologetic as he explained that he was unable to do returns and asked if there was anything else he could help with.  I said no, and he walked away, smiling and plowed right into Angel.  He knocked her down and the walkie-talking on his belt nailed her on the side of the head.  Now we are standing there waiting and she is crying.  Poor kid.

Finally, a young woman comes over and goes around behind the desk.  She begins to help us by saying, “Bear with me; I have never done this before.”  Really? 

Then two others come in, and the process begins.  I’ll spare the details.  It took a few minutes.  Then a manager who had come over says to me, “Can she have an Icee, on the house?” 

“Sure,” I say.  “That would make up for getting plowed into.”

He says, “That is why I was offering.”  Angel starts to tell me she doesn’t want any as he leads us to the food service counter and tells the clerk we need a cup for an ICEE.  Angel starts to smile when she sees the cup.  She thought he meant an ice pack and was not interested in that.

So we had three choices.  Shrek-green, cherry, and blue Mountain Dew.  I direct her to pick the cherry.  I’m not sure she should drink Mountain Dew and the Shrek-green one is leaking.  As a matter of fact, it is leaking a LOT.  And one of their staff members put a liter-sized paper cup under the spout to collect the drips.  But drips is too gentle a word to describe how quickly the Shrek-green stuff is leaking out.  It is actually pouring out. 

I fill her cup half way and turn to give it to her.  Just as I do, the jerry-rigged Shrek-green collection cup starts to move.

And it falls on the floor.

Right in front of Angel.

And it soaks her good.

Shrek-green ICEE is dripping from her hair.  From her eyelashes.  From her coat.  Just everywhere.  And there is an enormous green puddle all over the floor.

I think I yelped.  The manager came back over.  He couldn’t keep his laughter and disbelief in.  He was trying to, boy.  But it was pretty awful.  He says, “Oh wow.  I can’t believe all of this happened to one girl!”

Hmmm.  Yeah.  Nor I.

I wish I had had my camera.

He then takes the cup out of my hand and proceeds to fill her cup over the top and puts on a dome cap.  I am looking helplessly around trying to figure out just WHAT my next course of action could be.

I admit I was feeling a little bit like, “Aww, man.  Now we can’t shop!”

And Angel stood there with a sweet smile as she watched him make her drink huge.   She didn’t make a peep.

We went out to the car, dripping a trail of Shrek-green the whole way.  She was so proud of her drink and didn’t notice her appearance until she sat in the vehicle.

When we got home, you know I took pictures! 

Look how happy she is!!

She saved half of it for the next day. ♥