We received an email today from our pastor’s family.
His brave and beautiful bride described these days as, “The last lap of Jeff’s cancer journey.”
The sports-themed analogy doesn’t surprise me given Jeff’s sports interests.
For months and/or years I have been praying for a [growing] handful of people who are on cancer journeys.  In my prayers, I have asked God not to make these days the end of their stories.  Sometimes I say, “The last chapter in their lives.”    My literary-themed analogy doesn’t surprise me, either.

I don’t want Jeff to die.  I like him a lot.  I love him.  John loves him.  Our kids love him.  Over and over sweet Marie imagines scenes like, “Mom, wouldn’t it be cool if Pastor Jeff called us right now and said, ‘I had a miracle; I am fine now,’” or “Wouldn’t it be great if right now [during offering] Pastor Jeff came running in and said, ‘It’s a miracle.  The cancer is all gone!’” 

Since Christmas time we have been talking a lot about the ways he has blessed our family.  I am just bowled over by the sheer number of MEMORIES we have surrounding him.   I’d like to share a few.  Maybe more for me than anyone who reads here.

• We had our first visit to PCC just before the World Trade Center bombings and I made a call to the church shortly after 9/11. I had questions about raising children [we had just ONE at the time!] in the world today. His answers were warm and sincere and met me where I was at spiritually at that time. He also played cool role in our future in that short phone call as he suggested a call to a woman named Jennifer A. This homeschooling mother-of-five [at that time] was a building block to our lives and that family serves as a mentor to us even now.You just never know how the small things in life may lead to big things as the Adams have served as mentors to us ever since!
• There were the visits to the NICU at Strong when Nigel was born, as well as the visit to Park Ridge when Marie was born.  I didn’t call the church office when the next two were born, b/c I knew he’d take the time to make the trip and I didn’t want to pull him away from the office!
• There were the visits to Rochester General ED when John had his heart attack in 2006 and again with his repeat ED visit one night when we were scared.  That makes three hospitals he visited us at!
• There were visits to our new house when I was struggling with fears and evil thoughts.  John called him with his concern over me and Jeff drove his blue HHR to our house to pray with me.
• There were MANY phone calls, and visits to his office over the last 10 years as he helped us answer hard questions and navigate some rough patches.
• There were the visits he and his wife made to MOPS to discuss fetal loss, and talking about Christmas in the school.

Over the last year or two, we’d taken to turfing the kids “hard” questions to Jeff, looking forward to them building a relationship with him.  We’d stop by his office before or after piano lessons to ask different things of him.  He always greeted the kids kindly and made time for them.  He answered them honestly without being condescending.

We didn’t see much of Jeff in 2011.  We spent 2011 as itinerant worshipers visiting about a dozen churches in the area.  John had met with Jeff before we started our church visits.  We wanted him to know what we were doing, and wanted him to also know that we weren’t doing it because of HIM.  Frankly, we were only stopping by in September after returning from a vacation when Jeff introduced a new series he was starting about the letters to the churches in Revelation.  We were eager to hear what he had to share, and decided to stay at PCC for a season.  Then, a few weeks in, we learned of his diagnosis.  He only preached one more week after that.  I can’t say for sure what will happen now.  But that is another post.

I am sad Jeff has to die now.  I am really sad that his wife, son, mother, and father, have to say good-bye to him so soon.  His son is a high school senior. 

A lit bit of me is very, VERY excited for Jeff.  When I imagine that at any moment he is going to get to see Jesus it makes my heart flutter and my brain bug out.  JESUS.  GOD.  Angels, and prophets, and disciples.  And the children they lost to miscarriage – he gets to meet them.  Soon and very soon.  And there is NO DOUBT in my mind that Jesus will say to him, “Well done, My good and faithful servant.”  No doubt at all.  JESUS.  He will see Jesus.  That makes me smile beyond the tears.  But then those tears come BACK.  For Joyce.  For Carson.  For Sue.  For Jerry.  For my church family.  For my family.  For me.